(Brooklyn, NY – May 8th)… Beginning on Friday afternoon and lasting into the wee hours of Saturday morning was the single greatest pick up basketball game ever witnessed by human beings; as 10 local men went head to head in a full court free for all of basketball ballsmanship.
“You wouldn’t have believed it unless you saw it with your own eyes. It was absolutely insane! Every one of these guys just came out shooting, and once they began, it was almost like they couldn’t help but shoot. Literally everyone was letting off shots like their live depended on it. You could almost have called it a mass shooting. I’ve never seen anything like it. Like when Mike shot right in Gary’s face, that’s something that will stay with me forever.”
As with any other mass shooting critics were quick to look for a scapegoat and quickly decided on the negative influence of video games.
A Senator from some state noted:
“It has long been known that violent or erotic films, literature and most of all video games is the basis for countless radicalization of normally sweet young children. How would these children even know that violence or sex exist if they weren’t able to replicate in stunning HD? I think it’s obvious that the cause of this mass shooting, of basketballs, is based on these players experience with the popular NBA simulation game NBA2k13.”
The 2k series of sporting games has quickly made a name for itself in the somewhat depressing world of sports gaming, gaining recent notoriety for their spot-on basketball simulation. Now, as the public continues to try and grasp the magnitude of what happened on this court in the past 23 hours, there’s open speculation as to whether or not a video game is actually to blame for the actions of living, breathing human beings who would seemingly be capable of distinguishing the differences between reality and a pixelated fantasy world.