Lava Sauce

It’s not often that somewhere like Taco Bell makes you think (I mean really think, not like I THINK I’m going to need to take a humongous shit after this) but the other day it jumpstarted my brain.

Taco Bell is known for being cheaper then a Jew, however I found what I would call, a detrimental problem. On the menu they have an item called the “Cheesy Double Beef Burritio” which will run you the hefty sum of 89 cents. Nothing wrong with that! They also have a new item that is called the “Volcano Burrito” which is $2.99.

You would think, especially at somewhere like Taco Bell where each and every cent makes a difference, that the difference between the two burritos would be exponential. For more then THREE times the price you’re going to be getting some pretty nice perks, something that makes this product WAAAAYYY better then the other, you wanna know the difference between the two?

“Lava Sauce.”

There might be other minuscule differences, but lets be real here, the difference is the sauce. A SAUCE THAT ISN”T EVEN HOTTER THEN THE FREE “FIRE SAUCE” (P.S how did the name brainstorming go for that? We need something hotter then fire…Megan Fox? My Flow? The Sun? NOPE LAVA…yup Lava sauce.

This made me think about how marketing and the customers point of view can completely make or break a product. There is absolutely no fucking reason to buy the volcano burrito at that price, but it’s marketed as a premium item and shoved down your throat (not literally, that would call for a lawsuit).

This happens in society ALL THE TIME. It’s sad to think that some people are not able to distinguish the difference between a superior product and getting raped.

Everything is about status and how you perceive a particular item. If you took the logo off of something and presented someone with the premium version and the generic version, would they even be able to tell the difference? Probably not, but life is all about status. What makes you look cool, rich, awesome, fuckable.

A two dollar difference in a product might not seem like much, but imagine how that translates with other products. Imagine if Busch Light was $20 a case and Budweiser was $60 a case, why the fuck would you buy Budweiser? You probably wouldn’t because chances are you’re poor enough to suck dick for coke, but people with money would still buy Budweiser. In fact if it cost more, chances are more people would buy it because then it would be more “premium”.

Essentially everything I’ve said up to this point has been nonsense and it can all be summed up with this thought. Buy shit because of what it does and how it benefits you, not because it’s cool.

Don’t get me wrong, I love things that are of high quality, but I purchase those things because I have found them to be satisfactory and I’ve become loyal to a brand.

There is a difference between only buying a certain car because you’re a “Ford” kind of guy…and someone who doesn’t know shit about whiskey but pays $5,000 dollars for a fifth because its been aged since Thomas Jefferson was fucking slaves.

In conclusion, don’t be a fucking sheep.

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Author: SpencerHayes

Biting Social Commentary and Satire.

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