The Vigilant Hypocrite

As the cynical, devil advocating, prognosticator that I am, I thoroughly enjoy researching the opinions of people who have differing points of view then myself.  Anybody who’s read, skimmed, or even heard about “The Art of War” is familiar with how much importance is focused on knowing the complexities and tendencies of your “enemy” or opponent.

While I’m not compiling knowledge so I can launch an attack, I do like to hear what others have to say, so that I can evaluate the merits of their position and decide if I would like to alter or include it within my own opinion.  This is a frustrating habit because it often leads me to lengthy viewings of things like “Hannity” and other Fox News propaganda as I scan my brain for any semblance of sanity.

Something that infuriates me to no end is “Conspiracy Theories.”  True, on occasion the general public is misinformed and shady dealings reveal a reality that is much different then what we initially perceived.  True, there’s no way that any single person can comprehend the magnitude of what takes place behind closed doors, but some people seem to be dedicated to connecting dots that only exist in their fin foil covered heads.

Regardless of the topic, the overlying theme for almost any conspiracy is the big, bad, mean government!  The government killed Kennedy, The Government orchestrated and/or allowed 9/11, The Government does this or that so that the general public will react in this way or that way and basically everyone is out to get us!

Much like you can’t tell someone with dedicated religious convictions that they are wrong (In fact a great deal of conspiracies stem from religious ideas, making it twice as dangerous), you can’t argue with someone who believes in a conspiracy because they’ve already gone off the deep end, they are committed to their opinion and any dissent or criticism can simply be disregarded.  What’s the most common phrase you hear from someone who consistently spouts conspiracies?

“That’s what they want you to think, Open your eyes to the truth, etc”

That’s the beauty of conspiracy theorists, they don’t actually have to PROVE anything. All they have to do is provoke uncertainty by posing ambiguous questions, they don’t need to convince you of their ideals, they just need to create a tiny void of reality in your mind, they just need to open it for a split second, just long enough for even the most reasonable person to say

“Well, maybe there is more to this then I thought..”

This is very similar to people obsessed with religion.  They don’t have to prove God’s existence, they simply have to initiate the possibility and mask any dissent with blind “Faith.”

In sports, someone who ridicules or criticizes player, coach or team after the game is commonly referred to as a “Monday Morning Quarterback.” Essentially this means it’s much easier to tell someone what they should have done AFTER the fact then it is to make judgment calls on the fly.  People who perpetuate conspiracies are no different then these “Monday Morning Quarterback’s” because they take something like a tragedy and fill in all the blanks, all the aspects that are not exact certainties, become a starting point for preposterous inquiries.

Notice that none of these brave souls dedicated to conspiracy theories ever STOP a tragedy BEFORE it happens, but as soon as it’s over, they suddenly have all the answers as to why or how something happened, and how you need to listen to them  because you’re too fucking stupid to see the truth yourself.  That’s a huge aspect of their delivery, and the impact it has cannot be overstated.

Much like a cult, conspiracy theorists thrive on convincing their followers that they are in control, that they’re in the know, a select group of astute observers that is superior to the general public because they dare ask the questions nobody else even considers.  This is a very powerful technique because people love to have their ego’s stroked almost as much as they love feeling exclusive.

Why does someone join a fraternity?  So they can be apart of a special group of people and look down on others while simultaneously touting their own exceptionalism. From the very  beginning, you are embedded with the idea that your fraternity is the greatest, most awesome thing to ever exist and everyone else is going to try and bring you down because they’re jealous of your sheer level of brilliance.

When people are able to convince the weak minded that conspiracies exist, they give them the comfort of knowing that they are in a select, exclusive, private group of people that cares and knows more then the idiots who are yet to see the “truth.”

Once you have a people willing to abandon reality and facts to blindly defend positions they’ve been hand fed, it is extremely powerful, because every other position is just thrown in the category of people that are yet to learn the life changing information you’ve already obtained.

But when you stop to think about these things from a realistic perspective, you realize how far fetched these ideas are.  We can hear pirated music off of an artists new CD months before it’s supposed to be released, yet somehow every person involved in a plan to fly planes into a building kept their mouths shut?  The President of the United States can get impeached for getting his dick sucked, but somehow the whereabouts, history and population of the Illuminati has been kept a secret for hundreds, or thousands of years?

How can any reasonable person actually believe this to be true?  It’s simple, because it’s easy to make connections after the fact, it’s easy to take two completely unrelated events, or coincidences, and say well MAYBE this, this, or this is the reason for that.

That being said, the inspiration from this post stems from the unbelievable hypocricy I encountered while dealing with the author of a conspiracy blog called “The Vigilant Citizen,” a website that is obsessed with divulging into the “occult” meanings of symbols, the mass media and entertainment industries corrupting the minds of America and so on.

On this website, nothing is safe!  He doesn’t just touch on your regular conspiracy theories (Jay-Z is in the Illuminati), he also ups the ante to analyze and comment on conspiracies you never dreamed of.  For instance, a recent article was titled “How the Animated Series ‘G.I. Joe’ Predicted Today’s Illuminati Agenda.”  That’s not a joke, he’s DEAD serious.  Imagine for a moment you’re out in the world doing whatever  boring shit you do on a regular  basis, and while in the midst of a passing conversation, someone looks at you and says:

“Did you know that a cartoon from the 80’s that was based on a toy successfully predicted the agenda of a thousand year old secret society that’s determined to instill a New World Order, by utilizing subliminal symbols and other brainwashing tactics?!?!”

Is that a conversation you would typically engage in?  If it is, stop reading now and go put your head in a microwave, because you’re going to be a sad and terrified individual for the rest of your life.   But of course, any reasonable person would disregard that statement as complete nonsense and move on with their day.

The G.I. Joe article had 198 comments and has been shared over 5,000 times on various social networking websites.  I wish I was kidding.

Here’s an example of some of the comments:

“there shit is in so many cartoons… then when we get older it’s in us subconsciously and we are influenced to the agenda, unless some brave souls dares to wake ya up. One Love.”

See what I mean?  The author is “brave” for providing this information and anybody who doesn’t agree needs to be “waken up.”  That’s probably the tamest comment in the forum, most of them up the ante on the level of insanity.  After one poster went on a big long rant about aliens and demons, someone responded with

“That the so-called aliens and reptilians are demons is true. But to say that the bloodline families are their descendants is a total nonsense as the devils DO NOT have the ability to reproduce, let alone with humans.”

Well duh, obviously aliens, reptillians and demons makes complete sense but to say that devils can reproduce would be fucking ludicrous, only a crazy person could think such a thing!

However, the article that sent me over the edge was a beautiful piece on how the obscure 2001 film “Jose and the Pussycats” was actually a blueprint for the “mind controlling music industry.”  If only people realized that it wasn’t just a shitty movie.  In this article, the author goes over the same basic conspiracy ramblings, every eye is a symbol for the  Illuminati, every outfit and color scheme is sending a secret message, by displaying things in a comedic fashion they’re just covering up the fact that they actually behave in such a manner, blah blah blah.

How, what, why, who, what, HOW?!?!?  My mind is blown, but not in the manner the author intends.  Does this person genuinely believe that every single coincidence is actually a predetermined attempt at indoctrinating the public?  How many people have ever seen that movie, let alone paid attention to the meaning of Josie’s leapord print outfit?

Needless to say I couldn’t bite my tongue and I left an extensive comment requesting he use proof, or factual information when making his points. I declared that his website was propaganda and his readers were sheep, etc.

Much to my surprise, although I had not used any vulgarity or rhetoric that would be deemed unacceptable in a public forum, my comments were promptly removed from the website.  Upset that he had not allowed a dissenting opinion into the discussion, I reached out to the author on twitter and received this response:

“@TheFrogBlogg Maybe you should learn to formulate opinions without resorting to insults and name calling. + I have readers, not followers.”

Wow, just wow.  Apparently this person fails to see the intense amount of irony in his comments and actions.  He is the author of a blog that is dedicated, no, OBSESSED with attacking celebrities and proliferating anti-Illuminati propaganda.  Every one of his articles is solely focused on destroying the character of people with smear tactics and fear mongering.  Does he not see in the irony?

Let me get this straight, The Vigilant Citizen and his “readers/followers” attack people who cannot see the “truth,” they constantly claim that anybody who disagrees with their opinions is blind, they’re whole intention is revealing information to the public

BUT, they have no problem censoring my criticism.  If you don’t adhere to their beliefs it means that you are blind and need to open your eyes, but if you question what you see, they have no problem forcing your eyes to close.

Furthermore, the “name calling” in my comments made them unsuitable for submission, but in his articles, Mr. Vigilant refers to celebrities as things like “Illuminati Puppet, Mind Slave, Sinister, etc…”

So it appears that The Vigilant Citizen is not only a preposterous website filled with ludicrous ramblings that require you to substantially suspend reality, but its author is a hypocritical propagandist who censors people with ulterior viewpoints and refuses to practice what he preaches.  This website is the perfect example of the thought process and actions of someone who believes in conspiracies.  They know the secret truth, and everyone else is too stupid to see it coming.

Finally, I’d like to ask conspiracy theorists a couple simple questions that should forever prove they’re completely full of shit.

How is it that, of all the people on Earth, YOU, and just you, were able to obtain all this information and decipher all of these “secrets?”  How is it that you are the only person with enough intelligence to discover the “truth” and the only one “brave” enough to present it to the masses?

AND

If the Illuminati and all of these other secret societies and organizations are so powerful, why have they not silenced people like you that are revealing their secrets?  If they have the power to control the entertainment industry or make celebrities disappear. why would they allow regular, everyday citizens to expose their agenda?

Checkmate.

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Author: SpencerHayes

Biting Social Commentary and Satire.

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