(New York, NY – April 13, 2011)…Exciting news out of the entertainment world today, as NBC CEO Steve Burke personally unveiled the new fall lineup for his recently dwindling network. While these announcements are generally uneventful, Burke made headlines after revealing details about a brand new reality show that will actually determine the fate of our entire country. The new reality series, tentatively titled the “2012 Presidential Election” will introduce a new voting process that includes every citizen of the United States who’s actually willing to participate.
“NBC is dedicated to producing the highest quality television available and today marks a giant step in the right direction. While I’m aware some people were hoping for another “Biggest Loser” spin-off, our network has deiced to partake in our most ambitious programming decision since “Must See TV.” Admittedly, I’m not expecting the Presidential Election to be “Friends” or anything, but I think we’ve created a quality program that will appeal to a significant amount of people, or at the very least garner ratings from bored people who accidentally fall asleep with the TV on. ”
The “stars” of the new reality show are yet to be determined, but sources close to NBC have stated Barack Obama will most likely be a prominent fixture. Even as the network anticipates most of the excitement being generated by general interest in America’s prosperity, polls show a large number of people are even more excited at the possibility of seeing their tweets posted on live television. While some critics have questioned NBC’s optimism, specifically the fact that every major network will be broadcasting the exact same reality show, NBC has claimed it will distance itself from competitors by being the only network to openly root for Barack Obama as the eventual champion.
With dissenting opinions fueling public skepticism, NBC’s public relations team asserted their will, ensuring critics the new series will be literally revolutionary. NBC has expressed specific excitement in regard to the show’s execution, mentioning the “2012 Presidential Election” will have the most interactive voting experience ever seen on a reality show. As opposed to the usual system of accumulating phone calls and text messages, viewers will actually be able to visit a pre-determined voting station and physically vote for the contestant they like the most, almost like a popularity contest.
The excitement was palpable as executive producer Lorne Michaels outlined the structure of his highly-anticipated new series:
“Here at NBC, much like in the great nation we reside, we’re dedicated to facilitating the remedial lifestyle of our lowest common denominator. In doing so, we’ve eliminated the need for actual democracy in favor of aggregating social media responses and categorizing them as a negative or positive vote for a specific candidate. Furthermore, NBC’s “2012 Presidential Election” is sure to be the “realest” reality series ever made, as the shows content will be completely void of any editing other than removing statements deemed negative by President Obama.”
Public interest peaked during Wednesday mornings completely coincidental release of an Entertainment Weekly cover that conveniently coincided with the announcement of NBC’s exciting new show, almost as if the subtle hand of corporate advertising dictated the magazine’s content. Inside the issue of EW is a detailed prospective on the “2012 Presidential Election,” with information about possible participants and general background information.
The competition will center around which candidate is most appealing to viewers, with specific challenges like: “Who Sounds the Least Dumb in a Debate,” “Deterring Policy Critiques By Superficially Attacking Your Opponent,” and “How Much Do You Love God?”
While it’s been labeled as “reality,” NBC’s spokesperson has gone to extensive lengths to remind viewers the show is completely fictitious:
“NBC’s new series is sure to be filled with hyperbolic statements, sensationalized proclamations, factual inaccuracies and possibly event blatant deception. However, we urge our viewers to remember it’s nothing more than television. We are in the entertainment business and we would hate for any of our confused viewers to think that statements made by politicians on our network are actually going to happen in real life.