My Response to an E-Mail Scam

From: Karim Ahmed
Sent: Sun, June 20, 2010 4:49:25 PM
Subject: GREETINGS FROM MR. Karim Ahmed.

Dear Friend,

For your kind attention, I will be very glad if you do assist me to relocate a sum of (US$6,200,000.00 Million) to your personal bank account for the benefit of both of us.
This is a genuine business transaction, only I cannot operate it alone without using a Foreigner as required in my bank law, therefore I am contacting you to stand before my bank as the beneficiary next of kin of this fund, that is my reason of contacting you in this manner to assist me actualise this better opportunity, and also to share the benefit together with me.

You will be entitled to have 30% of this fund as a foreign partner, since you will provide a bank account where this money will be transferred to, while 70% will be for me, by indicating your interest on assurance of trust, I will send you the full details and how this business will be executed.

Please keep this proposal as a top secret between both of us, and delete it immediately in your email box, if you are not interested for the business. I will be looking forward for your urgent response.

Best regards,
Mr. Karim Ahmed.

ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNND, My Response:

Dear Karim,

It’s a great thing I gave your letter my kind attention or I might have sacrificed the single greatest opportunity of my entire life.

This is an insane coincidence, but I’m also looking for a complete stranger from a foreign country to be my next of kin in accordance to my bank law. This seems too good to be true, but I know from past experience that you don’t address a letter “Dear Friend” unless you mean serious business.

For months now, I’ve been contacting people in a similar manner in hopes that they would assist me actualize this better opportunity and share the benefit together with me 🙂 So far I’ve yet to get a response, but low and behold, like a guardian angel, you, Karim, have appeared to help me relocate my preposterously large sum of money into a random persons personal back account!

I feel like the reason I haven’t got a response is because I’ve only been offering 30% of the funds to people when the entire situation is dependent on their cooperation and I would be completely unable to obtain said funds without them. Or perhaps it’s my broken English.

Luckily for me, we can both take each other up on our offers and get 100% of the funds, we’ll beat the system together Karim! Those bastards will never know what hit em’.

Wow, now I’m really excited, to think I almost immediately deleted this from my email box until I realized it was a top secret proposal regarding a serious business transaction. I’ve dealt with frivolous business transactions in the past, but somehow I always end up feeling like the whole scenario was concocted by an ignorant fool spamming my inbox with ridiculously impossible requests, I can tell that things will be different with you Karim.

I hope my response was urgent enough for you because I would hate to think that somebody has taken you up on your offer before me. People are savvy these days and they know a legitimate proposal when they see one.

Karim, I can tell that this is the beginning of a copious business relationship and I greatly look forward to meeting you. Please respond to me as quickly as possible so we can meet in person to discuss our world conquering endeavors.

Even Bester Regards,

Your New Best Friend Frog

 

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Author: SpencerHayes

Biting Social Commentary and Satire.

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