– Food should not require strenuous effort in order to make it edible unless it’s lobster. I’m looking at you, sunflower seeds.
– It’s perfectly acceptable to enjoy Dubstep as long as you’re willing to admit it sounds like Dinosaurs fighting with laser beams.
– If you’re from South Africa, how exactly do you connect with your “roots?” Do you check “African-American” on the census?
– You know you’re perfect for someone when you both become Pros at each others Cons.
– Why do we refer to our goals and aspirations as “Dreams,” when dreams are usually fucked up, crazy things that will never happen?
– The character “Big Momma” is actually just Martin Lawrence in disguise…… #SpoilerAlert
– Life would be a lot better if people weren’t incessantly trying to impress and one-up each other. By the way, I have a totally huge cock.
– “If you love someone, let them go, for if they return they were always yours and if they don’t it was never meant to be.” Dog, that bitch aint’ comin’ back.
– If you’re not ok with Pepsi when your order Coke than your life is way too fucking easy.
– You’re kind of ruining your message if you’re rapping about the “struggle” over a million dollar beat that comes with its own dance.
– Is it justme, or does West Virginia sound like the state people live in when they didn’t get accepted into real Virginia.
– Am I a terrible person for wanting to go to Cedar Point every time I hear the name Jerry Sandusky?