Legendary Pick-Up Game Blamed on Video Games

Brooklyn, NY – May 8th … Beginning on Friday afternoon and lasting into the wee hours of Saturday morning was the single greatest pick up basketball game ever witnessed by human beings; as 10 local men went head to head in a full court free for all of basketball ballsmanship.

“You wouldn’t have believed it unless you saw it with your own eyes. It was absolutely insane! Every one of these guys just came out shooting, and once they began, it was almost like they couldn’t help but shoot. Literally everyone was letting off shots like their live depended on it. You could almost have called it a mass shooting. I’ve never seen anything like it. Like when Mike shot right in Gary’s face, that’s something that will stay with me forever.”

As with any other mass shooting critics were quick to look for a scapegoat and quickly decided on the negative influence of video games. A Senator from some state noted:

Continue reading “Legendary Pick-Up Game Blamed on Video Games”

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Famous Athlete Accused of Crime He’ll Get Away With Anyway

October 28, 2010 — Chicago, IL … Breaking news out of Chicago has shocked the sports community today as a person really famous for their participation in professional athletics was accused of doing something not considered legal.

The superstar athlete, well known for his super stardom in athletics, has already hired a really expensive lawyer that will do his very best to assure the athlete is not held to the same level of responsibility as an average citizen. Continue reading “Famous Athlete Accused of Crime He’ll Get Away With Anyway”

Baseball Champion Crowned: “Cool, I guess” says Nation.

October 29 – Detroit, MI … The San Francisco Giants are the 2012 World Series Champions and the nation couldn’t be more slightly interested. Maybe like a million people tuned in to watch the Giants defeat some other team in a series where people were definitely pitching and hitting a baseball.

“I saw some of Game 3 while clicking through channels and it looked like the same game I always remembered. Yup, baseball, woo.”

Fans every-somewhere couldn’t believe themselves as the Giants won the World Series in a record time of 32 minutes, shattering the previous record of a week and a half. Fans is also a word used for people who don’t have cable and simply put the game on as background noise while finishing puzzles and speaking to their in-laws. Continue reading “Baseball Champion Crowned: “Cool, I guess” says Nation.”