Al Gore Regrets Having Foresight to Create Internet

Burbank, CA – August 22  … A press release distributed to the media today from the office of former Non-President Al Gore included a surprising revelation about the politician and activists personal feelings in regards to his role in  funding the eventual creation of what’s now known was the World Wide Web, or, the internet to people who actually use it.

While Gore didn’t deny that the creation of such an elaborate and useful resource has certainly impacted the world and society as a whole for the rest of eternity, his personal qualms stemmed from the complete and total ass raping he takes in right-wing forums and chat rooms on a daily basis.

“Look, these ass hats wouldn’t even be able to talk if I, Al Gore, wasn’t genius enough to pay smarter people to create the internet.  Without the amount of money and gullibility I was able to provide we might have had to wait like 4 or 5 extra years before someone else inevitably created it.”

Gore, who has become a frequent punching bag for the right thanks to his controversial stance of having people go through minor inconveniences so human beings aren’t personally responsible for destroying the Earth, is surprised he’s become such a polarizing figure, considering his complete lack of personality or charisma.

“Most people don’t have their greatest lifetime accomplishment used against them, but it’s become pretty obvious that the vast majority of the internet is used to talk about how stupid I am.”

While climate change remains a theory, Gore has been thrust into the spotlight as the face of the “Green” movement. While most level headed people agree that human  beings are most likely having an effect on the Earth, others realize that even if they’re wrong the destruction of Earth won’t happen until years after they’ve died so why not be willfully ignorant?

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Author: SpencerHayes

Biting Social Commentary and Satire.

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