Al Gore Regrets Having Foresight to Create Internet

Burbank, CA – August 22  … A press release distributed to the media today from the office of former Non-President Al Gore included a surprising revelation about the politician and activists personal feelings in regards to his role in  funding the eventual creation of what’s now known was the World Wide Web, or, the internet to people who actually use it.

While Gore didn’t deny that the creation of such an elaborate and useful resource has certainly impacted the world and society as a whole for the rest of eternity, his personal qualms stemmed from the complete and total ass raping he takes in right-wing forums and chat rooms on a daily basis.

“Look, these ass hats wouldn’t even be able to talk if I, Al Gore, wasn’t genius enough to pay smarter people to create the internet.  Without the amount of money and gullibility I was able to provide we might have had to wait like 4 or 5 extra years before someone else inevitably created it.”

NRA Announces Online Dating Site

As studies continue to show a rapid development in the increase of online dating websites, idealistic communities catering to a specific demographic are becoming more prominent and the trend will look to continue as the internet continues to find even more obscure manners in which to characterize themselves.

Clearly looking to capitalize on the growing market, the National Rifle Association (NRA) announced today that they too will be unveiling their own online dating site aimed at males and females who love guns, freedom and the most perfect amendment in any Constitution, ever. NRA President “Homicide Joe” weighed in on the new website, which will soon be going live at AimYourPistol.com.

Barack Obama to Attend Second Debate

(October 9 – Washington, DC)… The political world was abuzz early Tuesday morning when it was announced by the White House that President Barack Hussein Obama will be in attendance for the second Presidential debate next week at Hofstra University.

Romney Poised To Achieve Personal Best in Election

Mitt Romney, the Republican candidate for president in the 2012 Presidential Election spoke with a frenzied crowd at a pep rally early Friday morning.

Romney Surges in Polls Despite Lack of Support From Everyone in America

Politician Could Have Used Local Man’s Single, Meaningless Vote

Losing the Race.

On a day where we celebrate the legacy of a man who dedicated himself to equality, I thought it would be appropriate to offer some of my views on the progress we’ve made, but also, the massive hurdles we have yet to overcome.  It seems as if race will always be an intricate part of how we define ourselves and our society as a whole.

But Why?